Note: This post could be upsetting, so please don’t read it if you’re sensitive to medical issues.
I was treated for Melanoma in my left eye in 2021, and my subsequent 6-month checkups have been good until this one. It looks like the spot in my eye is having some recurrence. Just when I had finally let down my guard and felt like things were going to be OK, it came back.
So now I’m scrambling around, getting ready to head to San Francisco to see a different specialist and prepare to have Proton Beam Therapy in my eye.
I feel angry that my body has betrayed me by allowing it to come back. I feel scared because Melanoma anywhere is serious. I feel upset that I have to go so far away for treatment. It’s a terrible inconvenience to leave the ranch and feed store, and although my family is extremely supportive and willing to help, I feel so guilty about creating extra work for them.
I’m trying hard to focus on the good things: The recurrence has been caught early. Proton Beam Therapy is considered to be the “Gold Standard” treatment for ocular Melanoma, and I’m told that it’s a painless procedure. The vision in my left eye is already badly damaged, so I don’t feel too worried about any further damage that could occur. I have a wonderful, supportive family. My husband is able to come with me, which means the world. We’ll have an unexpected trip to San Francisco, which is apparently a nice place to visit.
Have you been to San Francisco? Is there anything I shouldn’t miss while I’m there? I’d love any tips! And good thoughts! Thank you, lovely blog people! ❤️
Best wishes, Michelle, for your treatment! I’m sorry you have to repeat the treatment. I’ve been to San Francisco only briefly but I remember its Chinatown- it was so vibrant. And had the best food ever!
Thank you so much, Daria!
Michelle I am so sorry to hear about the melanoma coming back but so relieved to hear that treatment is available for you. I’m sending positive thoughts, good wishes and prayers your way. I hope you are able to enjoy the time in San Francisco in spite of the reason you’re there. Big hugs, Jodi
Thank you so much, Jodi! ❤️
I am so so sorry to hear this Michelle.
Hoping the treatment will be successful and painless and the recovery will be quick.
How good that the husband can be at your side and that family got you covered.
Wishing you strength and hope.
Thank you so much, Tobia! I appreciate your good wishes! ❤️
Oh, Michelle, I know how scary this must be. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m sending you lots of love and positive energy. You’ve been such a comfort to me as I navigate my dad’s cancer, and I’m so grateful you’re a part of my community. Just know I am here for you, as are so many others. 😘💕
Thank you so much, Kari! I appreciate your kind words and positive energy! I’m so grateful for such a supportive blog community! We can do this. I’m here for you too!
I’m sorry to read this, but know you’re doing what you need to do to get better. I don’t know a thing about Proton Beam Therapy nor San Francisco, so I’m useless about those topics. Just know I’m sending good wishes and healing thoughts and helpful vibes your way.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and wishes, Ally! It really does help! ❤️
Oh, no! I am so sorry to hear this. Health stuff can be so challenging and make you feel so powerless. It is GREAT that you are getting the best treatment with the best medical professionals, but it can just feel endless and hard. I am glad you have a good support system and I trust you will get through this. Hugs to you.
I just remember lots of hiking in San Francisco and wishing I had brought some extra layers. I was sort of chilly the whole time I was there!
Thank you so much for your kind, supportive words, NGS! I really appreciate it, and it helps. Good tip on the extra layers!❤️
I’m so sorry my friend. Health issues of any sort are overwhelming, but something as sensitive as eyesight would be especially vulnerable. And having to travel so you’re outside of your safe home environment just adds to the anxiety.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and take this all away. Unfortunately, I can’t. But I’m saying a prayer now for healing, peace, smooth travels, and the best possible outcome with your treatment. Take care <3
Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words, Elisabeth! It means a lot to me. ❤️ You said that so perfectly – traveling outside of my safe home environment does add to the anxiety!
Oh Michelle, my dear friend. I am so sorry to hear this. I am so sorry you have to go through this again. It’s so scary and upsetting. I am sending every ounce of love and good thoughts your way, and am praying for healing. I’m so glad they caught it early and may this treatment be all you need to be well. You are such a bright light in this world and you bring so much happiness to others, I just know that you are surrounded by love and well wishes everywhere. xoxoxoxo
Awww, Nicole, your comment warmed my heart and made me tear up at the same time. I’m feeling the good vibes all the way from Canada! Thank you for always being so kind. I’m so glad to be in your blogging circle! And right back at your for being a bright light in the world! ❤️
Without getting too personal, I have eye issues for which I see a specialist every six months, and a close family member goes to our local cancer center every three months. I wish you all the best with your treatment. It has been several years since I was in San Francisco, but I remember the beauty of the bridge and the wonderful small town of Sausalito. Prayers for a successful treatment and a nice side trip with your husband.
Thank you so much for this lovely, supportive comment, Judy! I tend to feel like I shouldn’t talk about this stuff, but that’s so wrong. Talking (or writing) really does help, and hearing stories like yours makes me feel less alone. Thank you for your good wishes. ❤️